A Different Kind of Anniversary

Today is a special day, for many it's a special day simply for being Valentine’s Day. However, today also marks Mike’s 35th birthday. It is a day hard for me to forget when you see all the red roses and heart-shaped everything building up in stores and on happy faces. I knew this day was approaching, and it has a very different association to what others would have on the 14th February. 

Usually, I would plan to do something meaningful on any anniversary that reminds me of Mike, whether it be a walk and jump in the ocean after writing him a letter or visiting him at the cemetery. Today however, I am writing this blog from my bed, in a roller coaster of emotions and pain following days of being pumped with antibiotics and god knows what other drugs in hospital for a sudden illness. I am a mess to say the least, and very few would know how much of a struggle I am having today and all of this week really. 

This isn’t going to be one of my normal posts that I tend to write. But just a short one, to show the raw nature of grief, some days are hard, really hard. And it is so difficult to describe the emotions that are going on, it is so hard to describe no matter what you try and do to take your mind off things, it just doesn’t work. Today is a day that I can possibly say is one of the hardest that I have had since this all happened, I am emotionally and physically exhausted in every possible way.

What days are hard for you? What days crept up on you that seemed to come from nowhere and shake you to your core?